Way back in Part 6, I mentioned that I had written some songs when I first arrived in Fairfield but hadn’t recorded them. Hanging onto to them was tough because I don’t read or write music, but I devised a crude notation system that involved physically numbering the keys on my 66-note Casio and then writing down chords as numbers linked by hyphens (14-17-19) and melodies as numbers with commas in between (48, 51, 52, 51, 52, 53...) and putting them in columns next to each other. It was enough to jog my memory as long as I went back and played them once in a while. I still have a number of unfinished songs from various times written down that way, though Lord knows if I’ll ever get around to them.
Anyway, in 2008 I borrowed a pretty good keyboard from a friend and decided to finally get at least two of those songs recorded: “Going Wrong Song” is about unrequited love, written for a woman I had a major crush on back then, and “Letting Go” was written when I was homesick and questioning whether I had made the right choice in moving to Iowa to pursue a spiritual path.
I like both songs pretty well, but I’m posting “Going Wrong Song” with some reluctance as I’m not happy with the way I recorded it. The keyboard didn’t have a sustain pedal, for one thing, which would have been useful for this song. I also think the tempo is a little too fast and the bass is possibly over-busy, although I like the sound of it. But I think the music is quite good, so with the above disclaimers in mind, here it is:
Going Wrong Song
Life’s going wrong,
and I’m writing another song.
But music won’t reach you,
so why am I singing as if you could hear me?
Words from the heart
just seem to fall apart
when I try to tell you.
And sadness is something that’s so hard to share.
And sadness is one thing I’d so like to spare you.
I know you’re afraid,
and mistakes you’ve already made
won’t let you trust me.
How long will it take? Will you see me at last,
and know how it feels when I see you look past me?
I don’t understand
why hearts make such big demands.
But sometimes I see within your eyes
something more than my own wanting.
Believe me, it’s true:
I never wanted to love you.
I just do.
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By contrast I’m very pleased with the way “Letting Go” turned out, aside from a few technical inadequacies on my part. The middle part really soars and I love the strings at the end (inspired by Paul Buckmaster’s arrangements on the Elton John album). It’s a good piece of production, I think. Just piano and vocal at the beginning, then flowering into moog bass, drums, organ and strings. Here it is:
Letting Go
Tell me, is this the way?
Oh, if only I could find a star to follow,
or find a way that’s not so dark.
It’s getting so the things that used to get me by
have all gone hollow,
but somehow I can’t seem to find
a way of letting go.
Is this the way?
Oh, fire is burning low inside of me.
And I’m so tired,
but sleep no longer sets me free.
It’s slow, this letting go.
But sometimes I find myself lost in the sight
of the way that a tree reaches out to the light.
And my heart opens up, and I suddenly know:
I’m letting go.
This is the way.
And oh, each day I wait upon my wings
and I know each moment has a song to sing.
And if that’s so, then maybe when I’m reaping more
of what I’ve sown,
then wanting wings is one thing more
that I’ll be letting go.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And while I had the keyboard I wrote a brand new song, the first one I’ve completed in a long time: “Dreaming Out Loud” was inspired by the teachings of Gangaji, with whom I've occasionally shared time during the last decade or so.
This is one of my all-time favorites. I love the french horns (the only horn samples on the keyboard that sounded at all like horns), the goofy instrumental medley in the middle (“Holiday for Strings,” “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah,” and “In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida”) followed by yet another half-speed organ solo, and the vocal chorale at the end (the idea for which was swiped mainly from the conclusion of The Steve Miller Band’s Children of the Future). The drum fills leading up to the final verse were done ‘live’ on the keyboard (at half-speed, naturally).
For such a big production it turned out pretty well. There was a decent drum machine on the keyboard, which was a big help in creating the different sections of the song. And just to bring things full circle I used the original recording of the sitar chord and tambura from the very end of the Horizontal Program album at the beginning of this song, pitch-shifted somewhat. Other tracks (all from the keyboard except the whistle, boing and vocals) include bass, the aforementioned french horns and half-speed organ solo, a boing-y sound effect - which was also used in “Make It Through (Another Day)”, steel drums, glockenspiel, harpsichord, whistle, timbales, several organs and of course lots of vocals. I had a cold at the time and I can still hear that in the opening accapella part.
Here it is:
Dreaming Out Loud
Dreaming out loud...
Have you been struggling all of your life? Have you been wondering why
everything that you do seems so pointless,
knowing that you’re going to die?
Maybe it’s time to sit back and see that
nothing is quite what it seems:
look with your heart and you’ll start to notice
it’s just the universe dreaming.
Dreaming out loud...
Think of the things that you think that you need.
Think what you think that you know.
And once you have started to pay attention,
see you can start letting go.
Sometimes you feel it while just being still,
or find it in somebody’s glance:
the comings and goings, the give and the take,
are all just the universe dancing...
...and dreaming out loud.
Anyway, in 2008 I borrowed a pretty good keyboard from a friend and decided to finally get at least two of those songs recorded: “Going Wrong Song” is about unrequited love, written for a woman I had a major crush on back then, and “Letting Go” was written when I was homesick and questioning whether I had made the right choice in moving to Iowa to pursue a spiritual path.
I like both songs pretty well, but I’m posting “Going Wrong Song” with some reluctance as I’m not happy with the way I recorded it. The keyboard didn’t have a sustain pedal, for one thing, which would have been useful for this song. I also think the tempo is a little too fast and the bass is possibly over-busy, although I like the sound of it. But I think the music is quite good, so with the above disclaimers in mind, here it is:
Going Wrong Song
Life’s going wrong,
and I’m writing another song.
But music won’t reach you,
so why am I singing as if you could hear me?
Words from the heart
just seem to fall apart
when I try to tell you.
And sadness is something that’s so hard to share.
And sadness is one thing I’d so like to spare you.
I know you’re afraid,
and mistakes you’ve already made
won’t let you trust me.
How long will it take? Will you see me at last,
and know how it feels when I see you look past me?
I don’t understand
why hearts make such big demands.
But sometimes I see within your eyes
something more than my own wanting.
Believe me, it’s true:
I never wanted to love you.
I just do.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By contrast I’m very pleased with the way “Letting Go” turned out, aside from a few technical inadequacies on my part. The middle part really soars and I love the strings at the end (inspired by Paul Buckmaster’s arrangements on the Elton John album). It’s a good piece of production, I think. Just piano and vocal at the beginning, then flowering into moog bass, drums, organ and strings. Here it is:
Letting Go
Tell me, is this the way?
Oh, if only I could find a star to follow,
or find a way that’s not so dark.
It’s getting so the things that used to get me by
have all gone hollow,
but somehow I can’t seem to find
a way of letting go.
Is this the way?
Oh, fire is burning low inside of me.
And I’m so tired,
but sleep no longer sets me free.
It’s slow, this letting go.
But sometimes I find myself lost in the sight
of the way that a tree reaches out to the light.
And my heart opens up, and I suddenly know:
I’m letting go.
This is the way.
And oh, each day I wait upon my wings
and I know each moment has a song to sing.
And if that’s so, then maybe when I’m reaping more
of what I’ve sown,
then wanting wings is one thing more
that I’ll be letting go.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And while I had the keyboard I wrote a brand new song, the first one I’ve completed in a long time: “Dreaming Out Loud” was inspired by the teachings of Gangaji, with whom I've occasionally shared time during the last decade or so.
This is one of my all-time favorites. I love the french horns (the only horn samples on the keyboard that sounded at all like horns), the goofy instrumental medley in the middle (“Holiday for Strings,” “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah,” and “In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida”) followed by yet another half-speed organ solo, and the vocal chorale at the end (the idea for which was swiped mainly from the conclusion of The Steve Miller Band’s Children of the Future). The drum fills leading up to the final verse were done ‘live’ on the keyboard (at half-speed, naturally).
For such a big production it turned out pretty well. There was a decent drum machine on the keyboard, which was a big help in creating the different sections of the song. And just to bring things full circle I used the original recording of the sitar chord and tambura from the very end of the Horizontal Program album at the beginning of this song, pitch-shifted somewhat. Other tracks (all from the keyboard except the whistle, boing and vocals) include bass, the aforementioned french horns and half-speed organ solo, a boing-y sound effect - which was also used in “Make It Through (Another Day)”, steel drums, glockenspiel, harpsichord, whistle, timbales, several organs and of course lots of vocals. I had a cold at the time and I can still hear that in the opening accapella part.
Here it is:
Dreaming Out Loud
Dreaming out loud...
Have you been struggling all of your life? Have you been wondering why
everything that you do seems so pointless,
knowing that you’re going to die?
Maybe it’s time to sit back and see that
nothing is quite what it seems:
look with your heart and you’ll start to notice
it’s just the universe dreaming.
Dreaming out loud...
Think of the things that you think that you need.
Think what you think that you know.
And once you have started to pay attention,
see you can start letting go.
Sometimes you feel it while just being still,
or find it in somebody’s glance:
the comings and goings, the give and the take,
are all just the universe dancing...
...and dreaming out loud.
All of the beauty, all the despair,
all of the souls in need of repair.
Don’t take too much of it seriously -
life is for living deliriously...
So many, so lost in the stories they tell.
So much of heaven mistaken for hell.
So many religions with explanations -
the universe has such a great imagination...
Everyone, everything, everywhere
is waiting for you to arrive.
The party has started to celebrate
the fact of your being alive.
So come to the place where it comes together -
leave all your troubles behind.
Pull back the curtain and know for certain
it’s all just the universe shining and dreaming out loud....
Dreaming out loud...
It’s only the universe dreaming out loud...
I’m in your dream, you’re in mine...
Life is but a dream...
we all live in the universe’s dream, universe’s dream, universe’s dream...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometime in the mid-80’s there was a serious drought in the Midwest, and one day, while walking along an old railroad bed I began to hear what sounded like a rain chant accompanying the rhythm of my footsteps: “Rain for this dry earth, rain for this dry earth, rain for this thirsty earth...”
It remained stuck in my head for weeks, and I think I made an attempt to record it back then but it didn’t work out for some reason, and after a while I forgot about it. But a few weeks ago, during the hottest, driest July I can remember since that previous drought, it suddenly popped into my head again and I decided to make another attempt to record it. It took a few weeks - I just made the final tweaks on the mix yesterday (8/15/11). And weirdly enough it rained this morning - I don't know my own strength, I guess.
I do like the way it’s turned out, even though it’s a white-guy-from-the-suburbs’ vague approximation of a Native American rain chant, if there even is such a thing. I have no idea. (But I’m pretty sure most Native American ceremonies do not make use of Crosby, Stills & Nash-style harmonies.)
I wound up adding some ‘verses’ as well, which would probably sound better sung by someone with a deeper voice, and with an actual group of people singing the ‘chorus’ rather than a million overdubs of me, but that’s why this is called My Life as a Series of Demos, right?
Cicadas, handclaps, shaker, woodblock, a sampled Native American tom-tom recording, lots of vocals... And a little thunder at the end.
Rain Chant
Rain for this dry earth, rain for this dry earth.
Rain for this thirsty earth, rain for this thirsty earth, rain for this thirsty earth.
Rain… Rain…
Another day the sky is burning, the fields are brown, the streams are dust.
Another day we lift our faces, we raise our hands and again we pray:
Rain for this dry earth, rain for this dry earth.
Rain for this thirsty earth, rain for this thirsty earth, rain for this thirsty earth.
Rain… Rain…
Another day the wind is burning, the birds are gone, our tongues are dust.
Another day we lift our faces, we raise our hands and again we pray:
Rain for this dry earth, rain for this dry earth.
Rain for this thirsty earth, rain for this thirsty earth, rain for this thirsty earth.
Rain… Rain…
Another day our hopes are burning, our strength is gone, our hearts are dust.
Another day we beg, please hear us. We raise our hands and still we pray:
Rain for this dry earth, rain for this dry earth.
Rain for this thirsty earth, rain for this thirsty earth, rain for this thirsty earth.
Rain… Rain…
Can You hear us, can You hear us, can You hear us now?
Where can I get a copy of Horizontal Program? Used to have one, but can't find it. Also, which titles are the originals? Many thanks.
ReplyDeleteHello JNP,
DeleteHere's a download link for Horizontal Program, good for the next seven days: http://we.tl/pmtLGetsOL
I'm not sure I understand your other question. Did you mean what were the titles of the original songs being parodied on Horizontal Program?
Looking for a copy of Horizontal Program. And what were the titles of the originals?
ReplyDeleteWell, let's see. In the 50's medley there was "Tequila", Johnny B. Goode", "Wake Up, Little Suzy" and "Why Do Fools Fall in Love". Then there was "It Had to Be You" and "Born to Be Wild" "My Experience" was an original composition. The 60's medley included "Purple Haze", "In-a-Gadda-Da-VIda", "Satisfaction", "Soul Man" and "Good Lovin". Then there was "Homeward Bound". "Horizontal Program" was an original composition. The 70's medley included "Knockin' on Heaven's Door", "Band on the Run" and "Born to Run". "The Ballad of Big Ru" was an original composition, though loosely based on "Big Bad John". "The Lesson" includes a parody of "Do-Re-Mi" from The Sound of Music. "Pre-Course Purification Blues" is a generic blues number, somewhat inspired by The Blues Brothers. "The Tri-Dosha Polka" is a medley of traditional folk tunes, the titles of which I don't remember except for "The Happy Wanderer" at the end. The 80's medley includes "You Can't Touch This", "We Built This City on Rock and Roll", "I'm So Excited" "Higher and Higher" and "Higher Love". The closing track is "Her Majesty" with a touch of "A Day in the Life".
Delete